*WEDDING STORY*

💍💍💍⚡⚡⚡

At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on, it was time to stand up and speak, or forever hold his or her peace.

The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor.

Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other strange looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"

The woman replied, "I can't hear from the back."

😂😂😂

*MORAL OF THE STORY*

Never jump to a conclusion without getting the full story!

THE OLD ENGINE

----------------------------

A 78 yrs old white man who married a beautiful young woman (28 yrs old).

In the hospital when his young wife delivered the first baby...

Doctor: "Congratulations, you got a 3.5 kg baby boy..."

The Old man (smile): "My old engine still work well."

A year later the woman delivered the second baby...

Doctor :  "Congratulations, you got a 3.0 kg baby girl..."

The Old Man (still in his big smile) : "Hmmm my old engine is still good !!!"

After 1 and half year later the woman delivered the 3rd baby... still in the same hospital and the same doctor ...

Doctor: "Congratulations, this time is a boy again... only  3.0 kg."

..

"Wow...my old engine still doing good... I can't believe..." said the old white man still in his big smile...

Doctor : "Yes... but i think you better change your engine oil... because this time the baby is black..."

Hilarious.   😜 

A boss from TATA motors walked into his office one morning, not knowing that his zip was down. 

His beautiful secretary walked up to him and asked, 

"Boss, this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" 

This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his office looking a bit puzzled.

When he was done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up. 

He zipped it up and remembered what his secretary had asked him; 

finally understood. 

Then he intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.

When he reached her desk, he said, 

"When you saw the garage door open, did you see my JAGUAR parked in there?"

The secretary smiled for a moment and said, 

"No, Boss, I didn't. All I saw was "A TATA NANO with 2 flat tyres😷😷

fired 😜😜😜😜

Must read very useful:

😴😀 SOMETHING YOU 

           MIGHT HAVE NOT 

           KNOWN And NEED 

           TO KNOW !!

🐜  Ants Problem:

       Ants hate Cucumbers. 

       "KEEP the skin of 

        Cucumbers near the 

        Place where they are

        or at Ant Hole.   

 🎆  To make the Mirror 

        Shine:

        "Clean with Sprite"

 

  💨 To remove Chewing 

        Gum from Clothes:

        "Keep the Cloth in 

        the Freezer for One 

        Hour"

 

💭   To Whiten White 

        Clothes:

        "Soak White Clothes 

        in hot water with a 

        Slice of Lemon for 10 

        Minutes" 

 

 🙇  To give a Shine to 

        your Hair: 

        "Add one Teaspoon 

        of Vinegar to Hair, 

        then wash Hair"

 

 🍋  To get maximum 

        Juice out of Lemons:

        "Soak Lemons in Hot 

        Water for One Hour, 

        and then juice them" 

 

🍞  To avoid smell of 

       Cabbage while 

       cooking: 

       "Keep a piece of 

        Bread on the 

        Cabbage in the 

        Vessel while cooking"

 

👕  To remove Ink from 

       Clothes:

       "Put Toothpaste 🍥 

       on the Ink Spots 

       generously and let it 

       dry completely, then 

       wash"

 

🐀  To get rid of Mice or 

       Rats: 

       "Sprinkle Black 

       Pepper in places 

       where you find Mice & 

       Rats. They will run 

       away"

 🍸 Take Water Before 

       Bedtime..

       "About 90% of Heart 

       Attacks occur Early in 

       the Morning & it can 

       be reduced if one 

       takes a Glass or two 

       of Water before going 

       to bed at Night"

 💐 We Know Water is 

       important but never 

       knew about the 

       Special Times one 

       has to drink it.. !!

       Did you  ???  

 💦 Drinking Water at the 

       Right Time ⏰ 

       Maximizes its 

       effectiveness on the 

       Human Body;

       1⃣  1 Glass of Water 

              after waking up -

             🕕⛅ helps to 

              activate internal 

              organs..

       2⃣  1 Glass of Water 

              30 Minutes  🕧 

              before a Meal - 

              helps digestion..

       3⃣ 1 Glass of Water 

              before taking a 

              Bath 🚿 - helps 

              lower your blood 

              pressure.

       4⃣ 1 Glass of Water 

              before going to 

              Bed - 🕙 avoids 

              Stroke  or Heart 

              Attack.

One of the best messages I have read in recent times :

Time Will Come !

New York is 3 hours ahead of California but it does not mean that California is slow, or that New York is fast. Both are  working based on their own "Time Zone."

Some one is still single. Someone got married and 'waited' 10 years before having a child. There is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.

Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately !

Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years. 

Everyone works based on their 'Time Zone',

People can have things worked out only according to their pace.

Work in your "time zone".

Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you.

May be some might "seem" behind you.

Don't envy them or mock them, it's their 'Time Zone.' 

You are in yours!

Hold on, be strong, and stay true to yourself. All things shall work together for your good. 

You're not late … You are not early ... you're very much On time!

😊👍

Stay blessed.

You Are In Your Time Zone.... 🌐

A woman saw 3 saints in front of her house. She did not know any of them. 

She said – 

"Kindly come inside and have food."

The saints replied – "Is your husband inside the house?"

Woman – "No, he has gone out."

Saints – "Will step into the house only when he is there."

In the evening when the woman's husband returns home, she tells him about the saints. 

Husband – "Go and tell them I am home, and invite them inside the house."

She went out and called the saints inside the house. 

The saints now said – "We all don't go inside anyone's house together."

"But why?" – the woman asked.

One of the saints replied – "My name is wealth." 

Then he pointed to the other saints and said –

"These two saints' names are 'prosperity' and 'love'.

Only one of us can come inside your house!

You go in, discuss with your family and decide which saint you want to invite."

The woman went inside and told her husband all about this. 

He was excited.

He said – "If this is the matter, let us invite wealth! Our house will then be filled with happiness."

Wife – "I feel we should invite prosperity."

Their daughter was in the next room. She was listening to the discussions.  She came outside and said – 

"I feel we should invite love. Nothing is more important."

"You are right, we should invite love only." – her parents agreed.

The woman went out and asked the saints – 

"Who is love? Please come inside the house."

Love started walking towards the house!  

The other two saints started following love. 

The surprised woman asked the saints – 

"I only invited love. Why are you two also coming inside the house?"

One of the saints replied – "If you had invited prosperity or wealth, only that saint would have entered your house. 

But you have invited love! 

Love never walks alone.

Whereever there's love, there's prosperity and wealth. They all go hand in hand."

Read this story once, twice, thrice ...

If you like it, stay with love.

Spread love, give love and take love. 

As love is the only secret to success!!!

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

Photo from Pal (Palani)

*Just Drops!*

Recently, when I was going to bed after using my bathroom, I started hearing sound of drops of water from the tap in slow successions, but since it was dropping into an empty bucket, I decided to let it be.

But, alas! When I woke up the next morning, around 5am, the bucket was almost full! I was surprised that just drops even in such slow successions could produce that much. I couldn't help it, 'Just drops?!' I questioned rhetorically.

But the following night, I made sure that the tap in my bathroom was locked completely and I checked the bucket and saw that it was empty, though wet. Then I went to sleep.

I guess you already know what I saw the next morning. The bucket was not wet as I had left it, but it was now dry!

Then I realized the importance of a drop and how much difference it can make in all ramifications of one's life compared to a dry tap.

Imagine letting the drops be for a year, I would be scooping with drums at the end of the year!

So, how about that drop of savings?

How about that drop of kindness and love everyday? 

How about a drop of reading useful books today and every day?

How about that drop of a verse of the scripture today and every day?

How about that drop of prayer today and every day?

How about a drop of worship today and every day?

How about a drop of step towards your God-given dream today and every day?

How about a drop of giving into your heavenly account?

What virtue and discipline will you start today in little drops?

Never neglect the importance of a drop, for when the harvest time comes, you would have made a big difference.

*......Ponder on this thought*

*The Naked Truth of Life*

There was a man with four wives. He loved his fourth wife the most and took great care of her and gave her the best.

He also loved his third wife and always wanted to show her off to his friends. However, he always had a fear that she might runaway with some other man.

He loved his second wife too. Whenever he faced some problems, he always turned to his second wife and she would always help him out.

He did not love his first wife though she loved him deeply, was very loyal to him and took great care of him. 

One day the man fell very ill and knew that he is going to die soon. He told himself, *_"I have four wives. I will take one of them along with me when I die to keep me company in my death."_*

Thus, he asked the fourth wife to die along with him and keep him company. *_"No way!"_* she replied and walked away without another word.

He asked his third wife. She said *_"Life is so good over here. I'm going to remarry when you die"._*

He then asked his second wife. She said *_"I'm Sorry. I can't help you this time around. At the most I can only accompany you till your grave."_*

By now his heart sank and he turned cold. Then a voice called out: *_"I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."_*

The man looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the man said, *_"I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!"_*

Actually, we all have four wives in our lives.

a. *The fourth wife is our body.* No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. *The third wife is our possession, status and wealth.* When we die, they go to others.

c. *The second wife is our family and friends.* No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. *The first wife is our soul,* neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and pleasure. It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go.

*_One of the best messages I have received_*

Pass it on..... 

🙏🌹Beautiful message.😊👍🙏🙏

📢 Wife calls her scientist husband

"Honey... Its Saturday night...... u r late...!!"

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment."

"What's that?"

"We've just added a *derivative of C2H5OH* (whiskey) with *ambient temperature H2O* (water) and *aqueous CO2* (soda). To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, *solidified H2O* (ice), now while waiting for some *protein* (chicken tikka), we are *fumigating* (smoking) the lab with vapours of nicotine...

It's 4 or 5 round experiment. So I will be late."

"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take ur time.." ⚽💣

A young college girl at a bus stop spotted handsome Man and without hesitation went to him and said, "you look cute.. I like you.".... 

Man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Please go home and study hard so that you can have a good career and successful life."..

He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said, "I have written some words of wisdom for you. Read them before you go to sleep."

And then he walked away.

The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus:

"Are you blind?? My wife was standing right behind me.

 😱 Any way, this is my number.

Call me anytime. ...........

By the way, I like you too!"😜

😄 😄 😄 Men are always Men !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear.

At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, "Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight".

I replied, "Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "What she really said was:  666136429."😅😅😅

* Kan pei 干杯! *

A Chinese businessman entertaining his guest from England.

Each time the Chinese lift the glass, he says to his British associate: Kan Pei 干杯! (Cheers).

The Englishman was stunned and silent, but he continued eating.

It keeps recurring, each time the Chinese want to drink, he exclaimed: Kan Pei 干杯!

Finally, the British put the cutlery and said aloud to his Chinese associate :

* "It's all right if you CAN'T PAY! 

I will pay! Now, shut up and eat !!! *" 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

This is a killer....

A man was leaving a cafe, when he noticed an unusual funeral...

A funeral coffin was followed by a second one.

Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with the black dog..😾

Behind him was queue of 200 men walking in straight line  🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

The man couldnt stand his curiosity..😳

He approached the man walking with the dog 🚶😾

 sorry to disturb you...

but i ve never seen a funeral like this with so many walking in a straight line.

Who's funeral is it ?????

He replied ,the first coffin is of my WIFE.

What happned to her????

My dog attacked and killed her..

The second coffin????

Its my MOTHER IN LAW?.she was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her too..

A silent moment passed and then he asked can I borrow the dog????

And he replied..

Get in the line.🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

😆😝😁

If you have too many women in your life, you are successful like *Mr. Trump*. 

If you have no woman in your life, then also you are successful like *Mr. Modi*. 

Real problem is for *those who have only one woman in life* 

😜😂😃

Mr Anantharaman Subbaraman from Tamil Nadu was waiting for clearence in US airport for over an hour..

 

He went to the counter and asked "why are you not calling my name"?

Officer- "We have been announcing & calling you for so long. Where were you"?? The flight has not taken off since you are absent in your allotted seat in the aircraft.

In the meantime announcement came "final call for Mr. 'ANOTHERMAN SUPERMAN ' please board the plane"

Absolute Classic!!!

Arrested for laughing...!!

This is from an actual trial in the UK.

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus. 

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. 

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. 

She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more. 

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man's defence was:- 

When the lady boarded the bus i couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. 

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon- The unknown boon".. 

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement, 

which read:- "William's stick did the trick".. 

Then I could not control myself any longer,

when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:- "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident".. 

The case was dismissed. 

The judge fell off his chair laughing ! 😂😂😂

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Primary 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Primary 4. 

I am smarter than my sister and she's in Primary 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.

The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Primary 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right.

The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Primary 4 immediately.

The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

Boy: Legs.

Madam: What is in your trousers that I don't have?

Boy: Pockets.

Madam: What starts wit a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut.

Madam: What goes in hard and then comes out soft and sticky?

*The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge*

Boy: Bubble gum.

Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent. 

*The principal was looking restless*

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

Boy: Wedding ring.

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose.

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Principal: O MY GOD.

Madam: What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?

Boy: Fork.

Madam: What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname.

Principal: Chinekeme!!.

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart.

Principal: Eeeeeh!!.. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, 

"Send this BLOODY boy to the university...

Even I myself got all the answers wrong!"

*LOL!!. DON'T SPOIL THE FUN & SHARE WITH FRIENDS*

A married woman entered a Pharmacy, she walked to the Pharmacist looked straight into his eyes and said: 'I would like to buy FAST KILLING POISON FOR HUMANS'.

The bewildered Pharmacist asked: 'Why, what for? The lady replied: 'I need it to poison my husband'.

The Pharmacist shouted: 'Lord have mercy, it's against the law! It's a sin.'

Absolutely not! shouted the lady. She reached into her bag and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and screamed: 'Why didn't you tell me you had a Prescription....  😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂  😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

Don't laugh alone share the joke!!

Know your whisky

🔺Glenfiddich is the world's best-selling single malt

🔺Johnnie Walker Red Label is the world's best-selling Scotch

🔺The Famous Grouse is the best-selling whisky in Scotland

🔺Glenmorangie is the best-selling single malt in Scotland.

🔺The world's fastest growing Scotch today is Black Dog. India is a major contributor to its sales.

🔺The five most popular single malts globally are  Glenfiddich, The Glenlivet, Glenmorangie Original, Aberlour and Laphroaig

🔺Bruichladdich's The Octomore is the most heavily peated whisky in the world (167ppm)

🔺The three oldest single malts currently sold are Glenturret, Oban and Glenlivet

🔺The oldest distillery in Scotland is Glenturret (1775), followed by Bowmore (1779)

🔺With each bottle of Laphroaig that you buy, you are entitled to a lifetime lease of one sq foot of the distillery's land, along with a personalized certificate of ownership

🔺Cadenhead's Whisky Shop on Canongate, has a unique selling point: customers can have a bottle poured straight from a cask and labeled with their name. When sealed it has a label with the 'born on date', as whisky stops aging as soon as it leaves the wooden barrel, so each bottle is a unique blend.

🔺Edradour is the smallest distillery in Scotland. The entire operation is run by just three people

🔺The Glenmorangie distillery is one of the smallest in the Highlands and employs just sixteen craftsmen, called 'The Sixteen Men of Tain'

🔺The most expensive country in which to buy Scotch, ironically, is  the UK, where it is made

🔺In the UK, its home country, the five most popular blended Scotch whiskies are The Famous Grouse, William Grant's, Bell's, Teacher's and J&B Rare. Note: Johnnie Walker does not feature in the list of best-selling blends in its home country.

🔺A closed bottle of Scotch can be kept for 100 years and still be good to drink. After opening, a bottle of Scotch whisky will remain good for five years.

🔺The Australian Wine Research Institute has introduced a measure called a standard drink. In Australia, a standard drink contains 10 g (12.67 ml) of alcohol, the amount that an average adult male can metabolize in one hour.

🔺Although their proof differs, standard drinks of beer, wine and spirits contain the same amount of alcohol – 0.6 ounces each. They're all the same to a breathalyzer.

🔺18,000 litres of Scotch whisky worth over $800,000 were accidentally flushed down the drain at Chivas Brothers' Dumbarton bottling plant in 2013.

🔺Experts advise you to drink single malt with just a dash of water. The water supposedly 'releases the serpent' from the whisky

🔺If there is a serpent, there is also an angel. As it ages, 2-2.5 % of the whisky maturing in a barrel is lost to evaporation every year. Distillers refer to this as the 'angel's share'.

🔺There is also a devil. The whisky absorbed by the wood of  barrel during maturation is known as the 'devil's cut'

🔺Indian 'whisky' is technically flavoured rum, because it's essentially made from sugar

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 for all the Whisky Lovers.

10 Reasons Why You Should Drink a BEER!

http://healthynetizen.com/10-reasons-drink-beer-please-read/

10 Commandments

Mosquito Trap

Mosquito Trap

POWER OF MONEY

*Extremely interesting & Must Read*

*POWER OF MONEY*

By Adam Khoo ( Singapore 's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.)

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ) . I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Orgn) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business), I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5 m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyotas and Nissans, not Audis, Mercs, BMWs..

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, *when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation*

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

^Material happiness never lasts, it just gives you a quick fix*. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, *what makes me happy is*
when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast.
What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.

What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. *This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.*

I think the point I want to put across is that* happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.)*and the money that comes is only a by-product.

*Save this message to read it from time to time*

THE POWER OF MONEY

Be PRACTICAL
Be REALISTIC
Be MILLIONAIRE

💰💰💰

You’re right, nobody listens to you — here’s why

You're right, nobody listens to you — here's why -- http://sh.spotnews.co/ApOc/OJeeNjO08p

MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH: ANY TYPE OF CANCER CAN BE CURED IN JUST 2-6 WEEKS ~ HealthyAeon

http://www.healthyaeon.com/2015/12/medical-breakthrough-any-type-of-cancer.html?m=0

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