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An elderly couple was watching TV when a Priest  came on air to pray for the sick.

The Priest said, "For those of you who are sick, I  want to pray with you so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right  hand on the part of your body that is suffering from disorder, and raise your left hand."

The husband placed his right hand on his privates, raised his left hand, and closed his eyes.

His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered,

 "Honey, this prayer is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead!"😜😛🙏🍺

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. 

At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

 

Arthur thought about this for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." 

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. 

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?" 

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me." 

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?" 

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"  

God said, "Yes." 

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention too: 

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft, and wobble too much;

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!" 

"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." 

God went to His Celestial supercomputer, typed in some key words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. 

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."