A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Primary 3.
The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Primary 4.
I am smarter than my sister and she's in Primary 4".
The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.
The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Primary 4.
Principal: What is 3+3?
Boy: 6.
Principal: 6+6.
Boy: 12.
The boy got all the questions right.
The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Primary 4 immediately.
The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.
Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
Boy: Legs.
Madam: What is in your trousers that I don't have?
Boy: Pockets.
Madam: What starts wit a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut.
Madam: What goes in hard and then comes out soft and sticky?
*The principal's eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge*
Boy: Bubble gum.
Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent.
*The principal was looking restless*
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.
Boy: Wedding ring.
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?
Boy: Nose.
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow.
Principal: O MY GOD.
Madam: What starts with 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if you don't get it, you've to use your hand?
Boy: Fork.
Madam: What is it that all men have, it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
Boy: Surname.
Principal: Chinekeme!!.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart.
Principal: Eeeeeh!!.. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam,
"Send this BLOODY boy to the university...
Even I myself got all the answers wrong!"
*LOL!!. DON'T SPOIL THE FUN & SHARE WITH FRIENDS*
A married woman entered a Pharmacy, she walked to the Pharmacist looked straight into his eyes and said: 'I would like to buy FAST KILLING POISON FOR HUMANS'.
The bewildered Pharmacist asked: 'Why, what for? The lady replied: 'I need it to poison my husband'.
The Pharmacist shouted: 'Lord have mercy, it's against the law! It's a sin.'
Absolutely not! shouted the lady. She reached into her bag and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and screamed: 'Why didn't you tell me you had a Prescription.... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Don't laugh alone share the joke!!
Know your whisky
🔺Glenfiddich is the world's best-selling single malt
🔺Johnnie Walker Red Label is the world's best-selling Scotch
🔺The Famous Grouse is the best-selling whisky in Scotland
🔺Glenmorangie is the best-selling single malt in Scotland.
🔺The world's fastest growing Scotch today is Black Dog. India is a major contributor to its sales.
🔺The five most popular single malts globally are Glenfiddich, The Glenlivet, Glenmorangie Original, Aberlour and Laphroaig
🔺Bruichladdich's The Octomore is the most heavily peated whisky in the world (167ppm)
🔺The three oldest single malts currently sold are Glenturret, Oban and Glenlivet
🔺The oldest distillery in Scotland is Glenturret (1775), followed by Bowmore (1779)
🔺With each bottle of Laphroaig that you buy, you are entitled to a lifetime lease of one sq foot of the distillery's land, along with a personalized certificate of ownership
🔺Cadenhead's Whisky Shop on Canongate, has a unique selling point: customers can have a bottle poured straight from a cask and labeled with their name. When sealed it has a label with the 'born on date', as whisky stops aging as soon as it leaves the wooden barrel, so each bottle is a unique blend.
🔺Edradour is the smallest distillery in Scotland. The entire operation is run by just three people
🔺The Glenmorangie distillery is one of the smallest in the Highlands and employs just sixteen craftsmen, called 'The Sixteen Men of Tain'
🔺The most expensive country in which to buy Scotch, ironically, is the UK, where it is made
🔺In the UK, its home country, the five most popular blended Scotch whiskies are The Famous Grouse, William Grant's, Bell's, Teacher's and J&B Rare. Note: Johnnie Walker does not feature in the list of best-selling blends in its home country.
🔺A closed bottle of Scotch can be kept for 100 years and still be good to drink. After opening, a bottle of Scotch whisky will remain good for five years.
🔺The Australian Wine Research Institute has introduced a measure called a standard drink. In Australia, a standard drink contains 10 g (12.67 ml) of alcohol, the amount that an average adult male can metabolize in one hour.
🔺Although their proof differs, standard drinks of beer, wine and spirits contain the same amount of alcohol – 0.6 ounces each. They're all the same to a breathalyzer.
🔺18,000 litres of Scotch whisky worth over $800,000 were accidentally flushed down the drain at Chivas Brothers' Dumbarton bottling plant in 2013.
🔺Experts advise you to drink single malt with just a dash of water. The water supposedly 'releases the serpent' from the whisky
🔺If there is a serpent, there is also an angel. As it ages, 2-2.5 % of the whisky maturing in a barrel is lost to evaporation every year. Distillers refer to this as the 'angel's share'.
🔺There is also a devil. The whisky absorbed by the wood of barrel during maturation is known as the 'devil's cut'
🔺Indian 'whisky' is technically flavoured rum, because it's essentially made from sugar
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😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 for all the Whisky Lovers.
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